Ember's Notebook

Ember's Notebook
.... random thoughts... words from my lips... poems from my heart..

Sunday, December 21, 2008

SINGLE

I pray for my heart would be satisfied with the lord
I pray for strength to stand up to the lies of the world

My heart has shattered far to many times
its broken and torn and hardly shines

Been thinking of love
and the thoughts that i shove

I want to be united one day
to start a family but i can only pray

For now is the time to love being free
to be used by God before a man gets down on one knee

I pray that i use my gift of singleness
to the young i will preach and hope they'll be blessed

but for now i grab Gods hand 
before i slip before i slip in the sand

I trust in you my lord
for these scars i cant afford

Your the only love i need
while the boys life you lead

And one day you'll let us meet
and the match will be far to neat

so il wait for him dear Lord
give me the patience Lord!





Thursday, December 18, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Grow up...

I dunno what to do anymore. 
Im sick and tired of living under their control

I know they love me
but when is enough enough?

how am i suppose to grow up 
if they wont let me?

I dream of getting away
of going somewhere new

but then id have to leave all of this behind
in the morning dew

what i want does not matter anymore
all i have to offer is tattered and worn

I want to grow face life
but your slow at letting go

I want to find my match
and hope it strikes a batch

when i think of what i want most
my memories turn to a toast

Hand in hand i imagine 
in the land that smiles in spring

If its not true
im sorry too

I want this more then ever 
to start on this endeavor 

but for now il wait
i just hope its not to late


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I just want to be where you are

I want to be anywhere but here.
I want to be with you without fear

I want to know your going to be there
becuase i know boys like you are rare

on my knees i pray for you
longing for sometihg new

praying that God would fill your heart
for some reason i cant bear to be apart

God is my number one
my fear of this is none

I have faith
that il be safe
with you

whatever happens
you've changed my life

with your words my heart mends
the memories ive made are all new

we'll always be friends
cuz i cant bear to loose you

Monday, December 15, 2008

Dial up + start 2 Christmas break

So i am trying to refrain from throwing the fam. computer out the window. I HATE DIAL UP... if there is something i will never do... it is dial up. id rather not have internet access then have to DIAL UP! now that ive gotten over that...
christmas break........ has been crazy.
my parents got a cute old dog named missy...
i had to help my dad milk this morning which really is not something i enjoy but i guess someone has to do it. I actually dont mind the milking part if the cows behave and stuff runs smothly. its when you get a real bad kicker.. that doesnt wanna be milked... that is the problem...
I took a nap today... which was amazing! :D
other than that. my heart is happy. im enjoying being home.. but I also want to go back to school. not for class of course.. but for the enviroment and my social life! :D

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Close to your heart



your so close to me 
but so far to see

in your arms
i dance 
to the rhythm
of your heart

as you look in my eyes
i peer thru the lies

that flood my brain
making me think your the same

as every other boy
who thought my heart was a 
TOY

Broken and alone id fall to the ground
fear kept me from making a sound

but your not like the rest
your patient and kind which is best

when you hold my hand
or walk with me in the sand

i know everything will be alright
and even though we may fight

we always work it out
without a single pout

jus your so close to me
your the boy that i need you to be

in your arms is where i want to stay
I hope it works out is what i pray!

~Signer 'o8


Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I wanna be a rock-star

THIS IS MY LIFE....

The story of a girl... who took on the world... and followed her dreams.... 
this is a recap of friends and memories... of this past year... as we come to the close of 2008!
I Attended UW~PLATTEVILLE for 2 years. in the spring of 08 i decided to transfer to emmaus bible college in dubuque.  





I had a lot of fun... but platteville was also a hard time... i had a lot of ups and downs... and then i felt God leading me in a different direction


MY FRIENDS.....






SARAH! 
we have been friends for a longtime .... 






you are an amazing Girl







I hope we can hang out more over breaks.... 

































MY GIRLS!!!

KATY: This is one of the only pictures i have of us both
Thank you for everything! 
you are an amazing friend
and i know we will be friends till the end

Keep reaching for your Goals 
i know you can do it!






Friends from Wis-Dells!

Jesse- You are awesome! 
our talks make me laugh
you are an amazing friend
and you are like my brother

Erin~ I love you Girl
you have shown me alot of what true friendship is!  I hope we can continue to be friends! Thanks for being there for me when i needed a friend the most!


































MY BOYz

Dan: I just wanted to say thank you!
You were a huge encouragement to me and helped me to adjust to college!
Our long conversations on the fone over winter break actually encouraged me to check out emmaus bible college... 
and i thank you for that.... :D 
You  will always be my mello daddy!









KEVIN....
I dont even know where to start with you.... 





  • You are an amazing friend
  • You have encouraged me :)
  • You like to have fun
  • You are a music freak
  • I hope our friendship never ends!
  • you are like my brother... i never had
  • thanks for all the 'practice room' talks






















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SUMMER '08

Sitting in the rox!





MY SISTER AND I CAMPING!!!!


























This picture is out of order... its playing at the park.... (a few pictures down)













Camp... after we painted a bathroom!































  1. I AM AT THE TOP
  2. CASSY IS ON THE FAR LEFT
  3. NESDA is going to get hit by mee!!! 
  4. It WAS WAYYY to much fun!!!











Love never leaves:
love is a feeling that never goes away
you cant see it... but you can feel it
it is like the shadow that follows you so your not alone
that warm sensation when your out in the cold
Its something that can be given and received
a hope, a desire, a sensation
its accepting
:D Its love!




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I transfered to Emmaus:

I came into Emmaus pursuing music education
I changed my major... 
now i am pursuing: Bible Exposition and Theology
with a double minor in biblical counseling and music ministry!






The days flew by... the months withered away... and soon 
very soon first semester will be 
over



DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY



~~~
I WANT TO BE YOUR GIRL

With you by my side
I dont have to worry

I will always be okay 
if you just hold me tonight

I want to be loved
i want to be your girl

But i dont understand
Why you did what you did

I dont understand
why you went thru 
all the 
pain
suffering
dying

for me

Lord help me to understand
help me to grasp your promises
I know you will never leave me
help me to accept your love

To dance by your side
to dance for you
filled with your spirt
in awe of you

I want to be your girl
I want to live for you
~~~














MYSPIRITUAL FORMATION SMALL GROUP--------->
 (Minus tammany)









ICE SKATING











Right before my Choir Concert







As finals begin... and the semester rolls to an end... i thank the lord for all the great people he has surrounded me with...   I pray that as christmas comes i dont get so rapped up in presents and trees... that i forget about the true meaning of christmas. 










Sunday, December 7, 2008


My First

Today was crazy! 
I had a choir concert and I sang a short solo.  It went well.  After the concert my group of friends took a road trip to find ice cream!  

Im kind of scared because this is my first post... but at the same time i know that it has to start somewhere.  

I have a lot on my mind lately and I cant wait to finish this semester!  Im so happy that I made so many knew friends, but I also know that the space between the hard core studying is when we are tested, and when we are tested we grow.  My faith is so important to me... hence the reason I am attending a bible college.  I want to grow in my relationship with the lord.  I have a heart for the broken and I want to help people see the true meaning in life does not come from instant gratification but rather from unconditional love from our heavenly father!